VIMEO Awards 2012: The Division of Gravity

Here we are for another review on the contestants for the narrative short film category at the VIMEO Awards 2012.

You can find more information about this year’s VIMEO Awards clicking here. For the list of short films taking part in the narrative lineup, click here.

We’re entering at our four last reviews, so i better start figuring out something else to post when this is over.

Tonight we’re reviewing The Division of Gravity, by Rob Chiu:

A woman. Her hair floats in the wind. A Michel de Montaigne quote. An unhappy man at the subway. Another quote. I can smell a bad film miles away and that’s how it usually starts. Thoughtful woman. Voice over speech about changes and differences over time. “Company doesn’t mean security”. “Kisses aren’t contracts”. Landscapes. Dandelions blowing. The depressed man. The depressed woman. They kiss. They cuddle. They sleep together. More gorgeous landscapes. “Because tomorrow is too uncertain to plans”.

— 2-minute mark and this film already managed to be everything i’d prefer to avoid in a short film. Wanna know what’s the biggest obstacle at an artist’s way? Brokenhearts. They blind the authors enough for them to turn into selfish beings. Self-centered enough for them to believe that they must tell this kind of story, although it being made a hundred times before. Mostly the same pathetic way. I could simply stop watching this film right now. I know the drill. Yet i’ll stick to it, hoping for a surprise by the end.

Together they decide what pictures to hang above the fireplace. In the future, the lonely man cries while bashing his head at the hanged frame. They lay down together in the floor. They’re just moving in into a new house. “After a while you’ll learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much”. They stick pictures in the wall, making a huge mural of all their moments and memories. They kiss in the beach. They travel. Seagulls flying in slow motion. “From every goodbye you learn”. She arrives home, but the guy is too busy to give her any attention. She gets angry because he has something to do. Man is working. The woman absents herself, cries alone in the bathroom. Her hair in the wind.

— 5 minutes, just how i predicted, this film is the same old story of a relationship breaking apart. Life is not all wine and roses after all. Just get over it. We’ve been into relationships and all of them struggle from time to time. But the really solid ones, those whom are definitely meant to be, go along. We, as human beings, also know that the tough days don’t concentrate into a single slice of a relationship, you can’t just pull it out as your second act. There are difficulties through the entire course of a romance. So, just get over it.

The woman is pissed off because he can’t appoint to a travel she scheduled for them to go together. They fight. Honestly, she’s a bitch. Still, both are really depressed in the aftermath. The man ruins the photograph mural. They break up. She leaves home. He begs for her to come back. “we will talk it over”. More landscapes. “And you learn and learn with every goodbye you learn”.

— This is not a sad story. This is a cliché story. However, this is a sad film. What’s new about this story? Why should you be filming this? Because you can’t stare at no place else than your belly button forming a lake out of your tears? Honestly, these people don’t need a camera, they need therapy. Keep the camera away from them! This film might be a scaping goat, but you reader better not come up with anything like this or you’ll have the same selection of words dedicated to yourself. If you wanna make a film with cheap quotes, poor lines, stock landscaps AND about relationships, make a god damn power point slideshow instead.

— Just don’t do it. Mend your broken heart by yourself.

RATING: 1/10

Review’s schedule:

19/05: The Ghosts, by Eddie O’Keefe; (read)
20/05: Prologue, by Bradley W. Ragland; (read)
21/05: Webcam, by Zbros Productions; (read)
22/05: A Bitch, by Matthew Miller; (read)
23/05: Left Right, by Tom Willems; (read)
24/05: The Hive, by Blind Aura Pictures; (read)
25/05: Hooked, by Stuart Howe; (read)
26/05: Pothound, by Christopher Guiness; (read)
27/05: The Division of Gravity, by Rob Chiu;
28/05: Blinky™, by Ruairi Robinson;
29/05: Human Beings, by Jonathan Entwistle;
30/05: Ham Sandwich, by Dave Green.

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